happy birthday nina

happy birthday nina
selamat hari ulang tahun kelahiran -.-'' ke 21.

yeahhhhh its not that cool.
you are now officially 21. not that being 21 is important.
you know the whole u r an adult now. you have to take charge of your own life. pay your bills. blahh blahh
( duhhhhhh like i'm one of the girly girly spoilt brat.)
i am in charge of my own life here. in fact i'm struggling to have a life'  
i think'' i'm doing good right now.
i think..
but nina..


you are not driving the 'cool' car or living in a studio apartment u've always wanted.
you are all alone not living the cool' life u dreamt.
 you gained more weight that somehow lead to a chronic diseases of lower self esteem as a result from a seriously low metabolism rate.
you are not fat with cash.
you are not hot. you have zit pimple jerawat all over your face. you are uuugggllyy.
face it. you. are. fat. and ugly. with no money. and family and friends. on your birthday.
thats all sum up to you are a total loser.
and below is the list of why your 16 year old self hate you soo much that she would literally kill you herself.

you are not in a foreign country. 
remember 5 years ago you vow to yourself that you want to be the girl who travel abroad, the one who took risk and flipped chance treasure every inch of journey. but you never did. you never throw yourself out there. not even singapore. loser.

you are seriously on your down' wheel.
i mean it. look at yourself. you are not the sassy' is that what they call it nowadays? you know~ cute and sexy at the very same time kinda girl. for the record i used to be that' girl. you seriously need to lose weight. and your jeans's size. and you need to take more time for bath. or for yourself. you know~ to scrub your face every week and to put on facial mask. you're no longer up to beauty' stuff that often anymore. you are too busy that you start to neglect your body.

your body stop to grow vertically.
you shop at bundle.
still a cheapskate.
you never made it on the hot list.
you never been on a cruise.
still not good with babies. or kids. or young adult. whatever they called.
still not good with camera.
you didnt establish anything with your name on it. yet.
you suck at cooking. not even nasi lemak. pffttt.
still depend on public wifi.
still not good in relationship.

you are awayyyy from others.
family and friends. 7 hours away.
love~~~~ 7 hours away and less than an hour on the phone.
no facebook. no whatsapp. no twitter.
nothing. whats going on with you?

~~~~~ cut the crap nina.
anyone above 21 and being perfectly independent would totally feel you so you dont have to feel bad about yourself.

so feel me now!