hey sis

remember when we do a duet over potential breakup song by Aly and Aj..
yup we recorded it and set it as my ringtone
cheesy as it was.
i miss u.

i'm so glad i have u as my lil sis
i want u to learn from my mistake which u really did
and i want u to learn from my best side which is yet to be

aly and aj ( dont ask me which is which, i really dont know )
just a glimpse at these two sisters remind me of us
just look at their hair
the one with curly hair is u ( u had a great time rockin' your super curly hair )
while i'm the one who suffer from gene dissatisfaction, and have my hair straighten all the time.

u also rock different personality than ur sis right here, u go out there with ur boyframe body and sharp look all the time, i used to hate it and always remind u to loosen up, u are fine, perfectly fine, it just me who is so 'gedik'.

deep inside, behind ur uptight personality, there's a sweet, independent lil girl.
there's one time when u are 13, its your first year at new school, and u had a hard time because of me
u went to the same school with the group of girl i get in a girl fight
and they hate u as much as they hated me

but again, u are' my sis.
u did survived 
every challenges.

when they reject your application to go to university
i secretly wish that i could switch my place with u, i rather have u to study and i will make money out there.
but it turns out HE loves u, u got yourself in TESL, a subject which didnt involve any math. u suck at math. u really are.

TESL suits u very well, u dress up prettily and go to class to make presentation and all. u have that crazy calm cool look which i really really adore and i'm sure u will make a good presentation for ur subject.

finish ur study, and save up money. 
i found this photo and miss u so so much.
i want to have this with u. ;)

new start

this is the new start for my life, but the truth is, i'm still work myself out to adapt with everything.
just so u know, i did all of this for my dearest family and alhamdulillah, there's a lot of challenges that i ha have to overcome to achieve this level,  but still, there's a way out for every problem.

 ( when u want to talk about level, i'm not even half of the level of dinner dash's craziness ) i'm still working on it.


a promise made is a debt unpaid

so far, i promise myself to have full control over everything that i get my butt involved to.

sometimes i wonder if i ever made my lecturers to feel annoyed everytime i fall asleep in class,
if i ever fail to catch up with my girlfriend,
if i ever hurt my parents feeling because i rarely call them now,
if i ever betray my own body by taking too much work..

i have to make myself ready for the day ahead. and by that, it involve an hour to have the chicken breast ready, i have to make sure all veges and sauces are enough throughout the day, i have to do the stock count every morning and prepare for any emergency.

but i'm a student. a full time student. as i write this, i just finish my legal assignment. i have to balance every aspect so that i have a little bit of everything at the end of the day. simply because i don't want to miss any of it.

i can sacrifice my bed time and having all the stocks ready by 8 A.M, count all the stock at both kiosk, examine if there's any work left unattended, wait for the workers to come at 9 ( i dont even have the punch card system yet ), nag to them ( if necessary ) or simply just make them laugh and inspired to begin their work, i will be at the library by 10 and that's the time for me to do assignment, revise a bit' while i fight the urge to open the laptop to use the free wifi available, time flies and most of my class start at 12 until 2 P.M, lunch will take about 2 hours usually ( lunch+ gosip + my stomach needs time to digest ), then there's another class at 4-6, and i will be flat enough by 6.

drop by at both kiosk to collect the sales money and container, and arrive home at 7.

then its me time.

but most of the time i have to shop for vege and other essential things for the next day which will burn my time until 10.

tired as i reach home to prepare myself for more important task and this is the DUGAAN part of the day.

i have to choose

a) to study. revise. as to maintain my CGPA
b) to study. on how to become a good boss.
c) to have me' time 

sad thing is, i dont have much time to choose, there's day when i have lots of assignment to do that i neglect my job, and there's day when i have so many calculation and stock count to update that i have to set aside my assignment. and there's day when i just want to spend my time on my bed, singing to myself and wonder if the lizard on the ceiling had mate and make more baby lizard.

don't stop learning

no matter how hard it is.
just don't.

as for me, i believe in the school of hard knocks as knowledge and experience is gained from life itself, not from books.

to learn something your own way
to make mistakes
to admit' your mistakes
to grow. 


no one will read this anyway

no one will read this blog anyway
but for those who did read this blog 

u will realize how i made my dream come true
and how i will continuously work my butt for everything i wish to own 

u will whisper to yourself  'she manage to do it, so do i'
and step out from the rat-race to start the journey of your own

well, this is my journey. this is my way of having my first million.

being me

“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle

But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

thank u for being there for me at my worst. 
the best is yet to be.

next big thing maybe?

i love the idea of how i'm gonna spend the rest of my life selling cute things like these

i wanna be a millionaire

'I wanna be a billionaire so fucking badBuy all of the things I never had
no, thats not it.i dont want to be millionaire just to buy random silly things and have 'rich-girl' syndrome..
i want to do something meaningful 
1) take my parents to perform umrah or hajj

i love them so much that i'm here in terengganu, separated with 6 hours journey, and i only have the chance to meet hug kiss them every once a month.
but everytime i have to go through a tough day, they are the reason why i have the courage to move on..

 meet my parents 

2) to take care of my beautiful sisters

3) to settle down myself